By Brighton K. Laznovsky, MA, CHT, LCADC, LCSW-C
FOCUS ON EACH OTHER With all of the planning for the big day, all focus can unfortunately turn to the details and away from who/why you are celebrating - each other! Take some time for mini getaways, unplugging from anything wedding related, and keeping conversations about things other than wedding. Instead of drifting apart in the planning, find ways to increase your connection as a couple.
LISTEN TO YOUR GUT Our gut is our subconscious mind that always knows what’s best for us, even though it might go against what others may want. Friends, family members, hired professionals for the big day may all have ideas, traditions, etc. of what you should do for your big day. Graciously acknowledge their recommendations, but remain steadfast in what you know is best for you as a couple, because you simply cannot be everything for everyone. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but as a couple on YOUR wedding day, your opinion is what matters the most.
SELF-CARE Maintain a healthy life balance. In addition to the wedding planning, make sure you focus on your physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, personal, and professional life areas as well. Exercise is a great outlet that not only helps to get you in shape and feeling great for your big day, but it also naturally increases dopamine, serotonin, and reduces the effects of cortisol. When we become anxious about the future, our brains and bodies act as though the fear is in the present moment. Find ways to incorporate mindfulness into everything you do, every day.
HAVE AN ORGANIZATIONAL SYSTEM IN PLACE There are so many helpful web sites and apps to keep you organized and on schedule leading up to your big day. There are so many things you are planning for when getting married, that remaining organized with a schedule keeps the anxiety/stress at bay because you know what you need to do and when you need to get the task(s) accomplished. Avoidance, procrastination, and disorganization will only add to the stress level.
KEEP IT ALL IN PERSPECTIVE Your wedding, although dreamt about for many years, is just one day; but it’s also the first day of the rest of your life together. It is a short period of time, so it’s important to manage your expectations. Look at the big picture when you find yourself stressed about the details - will the tiny stressor matter in 1 year, 5 years?